Why don't you go outside for a while

As an adult I know I should get outside on a regular basis. For, vitamin D, mental well being, blah, blah, blah. But, know what I've noticed? It's really boring.

When you're young there seems to be endless fun things to do outside. Games to play that aren't even really games, like twisting around a pole or blocking the way of bugs that are just walking around. And then of course, you have bikes and roller skates which are just for fun, not exercise. There was no pressure when using them to burn calories. It seems like even sitting around complaining there is nothing to do was more fun as a kid. And then you grow up and something changes...



I mean, sure there's games you can buy to play, like badminton, bocce, or even a frisbee, but those are all more fun with a group of people. I always prefer people who aren't too competitive. Honestly, it's a backyard game not the Olympics so calm down and let me call a Mulligan. But, on a Wednesday night after work when you happen to have a little extra time and the sun is still out what is there to do? Or how about on a lazy Sunday afternoon when you feel like being home and it's just so delightful outside?

I rent so I don't have yard work to do, not that I would consider yard work fun, but at least it's an outdoor activity. No pool here either or basketball hoop. I always feel like I shouldn't be wasting nice weather by sitting on my couch watching a movie or even doing the occasional chore around the house. I hear this voice somewhere in the depths of my psyche saying "It's so nice out, would be a shame to spend it inside. Why don't you go spend some time outside." And it just won't leave me alone. So, I think...but, if I go outside what am I going to do?

A few weeks ago I decided it was just too nice out, I would spend some time outside. I took a chair out onto the roof and my nail polishing supplies. I didn't want to just be sitting outside on the roof doing nothing but looking like a creep. I painted my nails and was sitting waiting for them to dry. I closed my eyes for 30 seconds and when I opened them a yellow jacket had landed on my shirt and started to build some spit nest thing on my chest. My nails are still wet and this stupid thing is too close to my face for me to feel comfortable. Oh AND I'm on the roof, so I need to be extra careful about thrashing around. I tried to coax him to move on by fuming him with the nail polish remover. It didn't even phase the little bastard. So I tried shimmying a bit. Nothing. I looked around helplessly for someone to help me. Nope that didn't work either. Damn, I was going to have to risk ruining my polish to catch this thing in a paper towel without getting stung in the face. I did what had to be done, then promptly went inside to have a beer, on my couch, in the air conditioning.



I've actually thought about turning my tv around so I can sit outside while watching. I would have something to do while getting a little outside time. I'm torn between 1)doing the right thing by being outside and getting harassed by bugs and pollen OR 2)feeding my addiction to air conditioning and Netflix instant play.

Life is full of difficult decisions.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my sister's birthday. Happy birthday, Mush! I love you XOXO

Why do Mondays suck?

Monday is the worst day of the week. Its so bad in fact that it affects my Sunday night. That moment at about 8 o'clock when I realize I better watch how many beers I drink and I have to be in bed at 10 makes me so depressed. Why you ask? Because I know what's coming... Monday. The day that it hits hardest that I must work in order to shelter myself, clothe myself, feed myself, insure my car, blah, blah, blah. Life was so much easier when my parents were responsible for keeping me alive.

It's not even that I dislike my job and the rest of the week goes pretty quickly (most weeks), I just prefer the weekends and vacation and holidays. Mondays just always seem to be mocking me. If it's gloomy, rainy, snowy or just shitty weather in general it's like "Ha Ha you HAVE to get out of bed, shower, put on regular pants and go to work. Even though I know you would rather stay in bed and watch tv or sit in your sweatpants internetting all day. Hahahahahah." And sunny, gorgeous, couldn't be any more perfect days are even worse. It's just a harsh reminder that if I were independently wealthy I wouldn't have to waste such a once in a lifetime perfect day inside. And it always feels like there has never been a more glorious day then the one that I'm missing right then. Once again, Monday wins.

So what do I do to cheer myself up on a Monday? I watch this video. I love the girl in the back doing the demonstrations. It cracks me up every time and then I mimic them the rest up the day for an added bonus chuckle. Lame, maybe. But, whatever gets you through.

I also like to visit Awkward Family Photos.

I love finding funny shit on the internet, send me suggestions. Brighten my Mondays.

Do you hate yourself more than your body hair?

If you answered yes then get an epilator. I purchased this little beauty:



it has the epilator on one side and a shaver on the other. It's genius because once you can't take this little thing plucking your hairs out you can flip it over and just shave them off. Either way you win.

I've waxed various parts of my body before, I've plucked my eyebrows for over 15 years, I have 4 tattoos. I am no wimp when it comes to pain. But I really had a hard time with this. I'm sure over time it will become less painful and the hair will grow in finer also making it easier.

You basically just hold this against your skin, making sure you don't use pressure or you'll get pinched and move it in a circular motion along whatever you are trying to de-fuzz. I did my thighs and arms. Neither part was thickly covered, just light fuzz. However, on my arms it was longer than I was comfortable with and trimming with scissors has resulted in a few painful gashes and scary close calls. I did have to go over the same area several times before all the hairs were removed and part of why it was so bad was that it kept giving me goosebumps. This made it noticeable more painful. It kinda feels like when a hair get caught in a bracelet or watch only its lots of hairs at once and it happens over and over again very quickly.

I started to do my lower legs then decided I had tortured myself enough for one night. Once all the red blotches went away I was left with silky smooth arms and thighs. Its pretty cool considering I picked this little bastard up for $25 and some of these contraptions go for $100. Waxing would definitely be faster and less painful, but, messing with the wax is a pain in the ass and going to a salon is way too expensive. I'm curious about using it on my armpits, I hate having to shave them everyday to keep them smooth and 5 o'clock shadow free. Its easier and less painful if the skin is pulled tight, so, maybe my guy will help me with the pits. I've been begging him to let me use it on him, but, so far it's a no go. I'll try getting him drunk and then ask again.

That's really all for now. The boyfriend and I have been making some lifestyle changes; eating healthier, smaller portions and exercising. We have both gained a few inches around our waists the last 3 years and decided that if didn't do something about it now we might regret it with health problems and unhappiness about how we feel about ourselves. So, we set goals for ourselves each week (usually 2 lbs) and have also taken measurements of our waists. Now we are tracking our progress. Its been two weeks and I really do feel better already. I'm hopeful that I can reach my goal and permantly change my bad habits (french fries, potato chips, too many video games and naps). I'll write about it here from time to time and if I discover any helpful hints I'll post them.

I think there's something wrong with me

I have this inability to act like an adult. I pay my bills, but, that is pretty much where it ends. No matter how hard I try I can't keep my apartment organized and neat, I can't keep the kitchen stocked, and I can't save money. People all around me are buying houses and having children and I am trolling the internet looking at Re-ment (Japanese miniatures). What is wrong with me? I have no desire to own a house, I love that I don't have to take care of a lawn, shovel snow, fix shit when it breaks. My motto is "It's not my problem". Leaky roof, need a new septic tank, basement flooding? Oh well, it's not my problem, I pay rent and that's where my responsibility ends and I like it that way. Some people see renting as a waste, paying all this money and ending up with nothing to show for it in the end. I see it as paying someone to do all the worrying for me, this way I don't have to worry about wells, furnaces, and termites. Maybe I need to get a landlord for the other aspects of my life, someone who will worry about and take care of my retirement, refilling prescriptions, and making sure my laundry has been done BEFORE I run out of underwear. I need to really think about this, this might be the most brilliant idea I've ever had. Of course, that means I need to write and ad and interview people and that sounds like a lot of work soooooooo it's probably no going to happen.

And then there is the subject of children. I am truly torn on this. I really like my life. I am selfish. Not in the I don't share and think about others kind of way, but, I like sleeping in on days off, I like going to the movies during the week, eating popcorn for dinner and don't want to sacrifice those things kind of way. Having kids means making changes and sacrifices and I don't want to do that right now. Will I always feel like this? I don't know. But, I also think about the issues my guy and I have and really don't want to be the source of blame when our kids become neurotic messes with high cholesterol, migraines, obesity, arthritis and asthma (amongst other possibilities). (And I'm not telling you who's family contributes which wonderful maladies.) My guy and I have discussed it and we're okay adopting later on if we decide we what to expand our family and I'm not saying that this child won't have problems, but, at least I won't be to blame. (Just don't tell his folks that we might never give them grandkids, natural or otherwise, because I'm pretty sure they might suffer a stroke.)

As far as my daily responsibilities I just find them too boring or too overwhelming, so, I try to ignore them. The thought of having to decide what I will want to eat for the entire week and then buying it all at once is just too much for me. I can't handle the pressure of it. I did direct deposit so I wouldn't have to worry about going to the bank every payday. Most of my bills are automatic pay so I don't need to remember what date what bill is due. I opened my date book yesterday to make a doctor's appointment and I haven't checked or updated it since March!

Basically I'm a twelve year old who gets to live the life of a thirty year old and the results aren't always pretty. But, my mom can rest easy knowing that I'm not running with scissors, sticking things into outlets or eating cake and candy for breakfast (at least not on a regular basis for the last thing). I survive because that's what I do and I have a blast doing it. My apartment is Neverland. From Peter Pan, not Micheal Jackson's "ranch".

And btw... my boyfriend loves me for who I am and assures me that the world is not judging me on my housekeeping abilities, financial discipline, and ability to make a gourmet meal after working a 10 hour day. No matter how much I fear this to be true and beat up on myself for it. Most days I feel inadequate and defective. Maybe stunted is the correct term. Either way, am I the only person who lives and feels this way? Because I'm starting to feel more and more left behind.